My father. What can I say about him? What may I say about him? We have been taught over and over again as we grow up that it wouldn’t do to air dirty linens in the public. But now, I feel that if I were to refrain from talking about him, I would burst.

He loves us and cares for us, but without responsibility. He showed up drunk once to drive me home after school. That damn car was weaving all over the place. My sister had the same experience, but worst, she was on a motorcycle with him. I guess he loves us enough, but like an after thought. He doesn’t seem to understand that we need something more than a sometimes there love. All through my school life, our pocket money came from my mother. Whenever he is in a good mood, he might give us some money, but that is few and far in between. We never relied on him for anything important.

He is unreliable and so is his friends. He would say that one or another of them are coming to repair something but then they would not come. He is also a liar. I think, and my mum thinks the same, he was cheating on her. We have seen pictures of other women in his possession, and also that he cares much about other women not his wife and daughters. I sometimes felt so extremely angry that it is hard work for me to swallow whatever harsh words risen from my throat.

He never have any great earning power. He has always had a real knack of pissing off his superiors and then getting kicked out. Of course, he always say that he resigned. I don’t know how much I believe that statement. Whenever my mother admonished him for being so impulsive to throw away his income, he would always angrily retort,” What’s so snobbish about it? I can always find another job!”  And so he drifted from job to job until now, he can no longer work after a stroke that left him with a serious limp and weak right hand. He never thought to have a stable income so that he could support his family, no, his wife, my mother can do everything whilst all he has to do is to enjoy life.

In short, he is an overgrown man-child with no sense of responsibility at all. He also has a tendency to think too far and aim to high for him to succeed in any venture. He cares enough to love us, but not enough to support us.

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