Tonight, as I laughed in the car with my sister over something silly, I suddenly realized that I felt so happy and light. Not carefree, no, that is not to be my lot now. But I am happy. No man can really claim to be content for isn’t it one of our fundamental weakness to ever desire more?
I wasn’t always happy. I am often told that I am too serious for my age, but nicely matured than my peers. Perhaps they don’t understand the pressure they put upon me. Although I am far too serious for my age, apparently my maturity works well enough for them to never complain or tell me to lighten up. This may work well for them, but I was and still am speechless in disbelief when one of my sister’s friends (one year younger than me) told her that she was afraid of me because I am so stern! I felt like shouting and laughing and crying and everything in between. I was set apart. Different. Not to be joked with or played around. So I became more stern.
I was on the prefectorial board in secondary school. I earned a reputation of being stern, of all things. Although I was not on the highest committee of the board, I was still consulted on many things. I was and still proud of it as it shows that one do not need status to command respect. Although I did held a powerful position. I was the leader of the junior members. Partnered with a younger boy, we were the caretakers and teachers of the younger members. As I remembered, I was the bad cop and he was the good cop. But we did have a good partnership.
Being a prefect is not my happiest decision. I found it took up too much of my time but I refuse to quit. Stubborn pride. I was miserable throughout my Form 1 and Form 2 years. However, salvation came to those who persist. In my third year of secondary school, I met and became acquainted with two people who later became to be two of my closest friends. The next year, The Group, as we call it, finally met and fully formed. There are six in total. Although we only knew each other for a few months, something just clicked.
Good friends they are. Never pushing, always willing to listen. And for the first time, I was not thrust in the limelight, making all decisions. It is a burden off me and I loved it. It is very freeing. I can voice my opinions and others will listen and add to it.
Two years is a short time in bliss. Before long, we were graduated and went our separate ways in life. We still make it a point to meet whenever we could, which is not as often as I wished for our schedules are tight. Of course I met new friends in college, but I never had friends like them. Patient, willing to help out. My good friend in college is always willing to help out but always wished to know more, even when I wanted privacy. It irritates me, but we always make up.
I am now truly happy. Happy and with a light heart. Trials will still be waiting for me in life’s course. No need to go seeking trouble when trouble came to you in its slow speed.